No. That’s not me.
I love her face in the ad featured above, and her general air of confidence that has separated her from the pack of hungry, exceedingly similar models. I don’t usually view models as “role models,” but she is exceptional, and her confidence and drive has landed her many huge modeling campaigns and roles in films like Mad Max or upcoming, Luc Besson (Fifth Element), summer blockbuster Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
Cara D Confidence & A Real World Application
The Overanxious Petsit Client
A week ago I ran into one of my petsit clients all in a tizzy when I entered her apartment, set to take over care of her dog while she headed out to California for a few days’ business trip. I thought she had been in a rush because she was running late.
“Sorry I left without chatting more,” she later texted. “I wanted to pick up some food for the flight.”
Before she left, knowing that she sometimes gets anxious before her travels, I had enough time to give her some simple words of encouragement.
“Don’t worry,” I said during the spare moment we could catch each other’s eye before she darted out the door. “You’ve done this many times before, and you always do a good job.” I didn’t necessarily know this, but in seeing her nice Manhattan apartment, and in knowing how presentable and articulate she makes herself – trophies from her bodybuilding days line here walls, hinting at a highly controlled and Type A personality – I knew she must perform well in her career.
“Be confident,” I advised her. “Clients sense this, and if you start off with a strong impression, your clients will trust you. Come across as weak out reluctant, and they may doubt everything else you say.”
Her face was still pinched with panic, as she left out the door, but she thanked me for my advice.Most of my clients are VCs, Managing Directors at banks, Producers, Execs at tech and marketing companies. Not all, but some of my clients bring home their work anxieties and as someone who works in others’ homes, I often get to witness this. Beyond my defined role, I often serve as a calming presence in their lives, and listen and pay attention to their woes, reflecting back my thoughts after listening. In other words, I was quite prepared to give her some quick advice.
Had I known that she was leaving for a highly anticipated review with her supervisor, and that she is responsible for bringing in $50 million annually for famed tech company ______, perhaps I would have been nervous for her too. However, I didn’t learn this background info until 4 days after she had returned from the trip, when I met her at her house to return her keys.
Arriving at her door that evening, she insisted that Sandy and I stay to chat and meet her boyfriend. We politely declined, as we both had work deadlines to meet, but they were so conciliating and charming, we found ourselves seated on her long L couch, talking about our lives…
Few Words Have Big Impact
I did not see it coming, but while her boyfriend commented on how calm and collected Sandy seemed despite his deadlines, my client began to flap her hands up and down in slight in front of her in little waves, gathering our attention.
“Last week,” she launched into her story and looked knowingly at her boyfriend, “before my trip to ________, when I was panicking and rushing out the door, Jen said these words to me. ‘Be confident.’ I thought about it on the plane. I thought about it before I met with my boss. And you know what, I went in feeling this way, and the meeting went well…”
I was so taken aback by this news, but Sandy looked over and smiled at me with a wink in his eye because he knows that I regularly moonlight as a life coach role for others. Wow. I could not believe much those few words of encouragement had made to her, and I was so happy to hear that they helped her, because she is wonderful and hardworking, and she deserves to be recognized by her boss.
Drawing toward the end of a lengthy interview process for my current dream job, I applied this technique before my own big meeting the next day – Interview #4 for a prospective employer.
I’m not usually very nervous before interviews anymore. I’m confident in my abilities. However, this interview was to work as a Personal Assistant for an exceedingly healthy, realistically centered, and kind, but busy family, in a role that would be challenging and novel, and wa located not a 15 minute walk away from Sandy’s office – AKA The Dream.
I repeated the words that Raluca had said. I repeated the words I had said to Raluca.
Has anyone used confidence boosting techniques to help them through a job interview, review, or other challenging experience? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.