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My first time going on a date with a girl from OkC


Last week I had my first date with a girl. It wasn’t most typical dates between girls.
I did meet her on OkCupid. We did spend a lot of time together, hanging 3 out of 4 days in a row. It was a whirlwind of romance, but it was different in many ways.
1) I’m married.
2) I’m straight (both 1 & 2 are listed in my profile)
3) She was only here for 5 more days of a week long trip to visit her sister in NYC when she reached out to me.
However, reach out to me she did, in response to my blurb on OkC that you should message me, “if you’re fucking weird”:
“Heyho, I am not sure if I am fucking weird but.. okay my sister is shouting OH YES YOU ARE. okay, I definitely like meeting people who live different!

I am visiting my sister here in NYC for one week.”

I simply responded:

“Sure. Let’s get a bite or go for a walk. Do you know NYC well or want reccs for a place to check out?”

And we were off.

I don’t think either of us knew what we were looking for – our goals. I’m pretty sure, by the way her sisters were asking me questions about OkCupid, that it was her first time using the app. They wondered, firstmost if it was safe, so it follows that get first date off the would be with me, who presented herself as a chill, no expectations, kind of lass. And, oh, all three sisters showed up for the beginning of our date.

She gave me a day’s notice that all three sisters would be meeting that day, which I assured her I found to be very supportive of them. And there on the steps of the Whitney where we met, to take in my planned date of a walk on the High Line (which I feel every visit to NYC should include to take in the beautiful flora and possibilities of re-purposing roads) and then among the Chelsea galleries underneath.

Her sisters looked so friendly, and in discerning her youngest sister was only visiting for a week, I invited her sisters on our first date.

And so my first date with a girl became my first date with 3 girls

It was awesome because we soon hit it off, the 4 of us, talking about their adventures, their thoughts of NYC, their homes in Germany, their shared love of animals.

I quickly fell in love with the nature of all three.

We finished our walk along the Highway, engrossed in conversation. The afternoon was bright and sunny, perfect weather for our summer shorts and skirts, careless among the masses gathered for the same reason of taking in the Highline, and then we descended for the girls to take in the classic NYC snack, bagels from the middle sister’s (who is completing an internship in NYC) favorite bakery, where we were only interrupted by a staff member, not to get us to clear a table after finishing our food, but to be offered free, fancy looking crueller donuts. What a perfect day right?

Our date ended on the rooftop of the middle sister’s lodging, but we made plans to get together again before their trip ended.

I’m so glad I went. They were too. Not all dates need to be so serious, or defined by what we think a “date” should be. Neither does using a date app.

I think the usage of dating apps should be re-examined to invite paired people like me to still be able to connect singley (even if this mutated in this date into something great) and intimately with others. I will continue to explore this premise. I don’t know how long, and I place no terms, so we’ll see what happens and I will keep you all posted.