Dear Diary 15 – Do people use you? Do you use others?


I received an Instagram message this morning from a past work exchange guest. I hear from her every now and then, but only when she wants to visit NYC and needs housing. So of course, she was asking whether we had a petsit she could do or a room for her at 40 VR.

I’d help her out, but I have neither. And she’s emailed weird dates – 4 days, followed by a break in time, and 4 more days. Not at all likely to be conducive to a petsit.

When I tell her I have neither, as our Bnb is booked up, she acts taken aback, surprised.

I feel bad I have nothing to offer, but minutes later, I feel worse cause I only EVER hear from her when she wants something.

It makes me wonder. Am I like this?

Do I only ever contact people when I want something?

What about you readers?

Let’s take a moment to think about our relationships, especially with those we do rarely are in contact with. Are they our friends? Or are they just using us or are we just using them?

I’m kind of glad this awful feeling came up because it makes me re-evaluate who I am and how I treat others.

On the brighter side

We just watched a cute dog – who am I kidding? She’s family – who loves seeing how many toys we can pile on her (feature photo)


There’s so much to look forward to.

In 9 days we host friends and our work exchange guests for a Christmas Dinner at Candle 79 (the vegan place of which Sandy had accumulated the most restaurant gift cards to. It’s not anywhere near where Sandy works, so geographically inconvenient and a place we’ll never make the effort to bike to. However, it’s perfect to be able to blow our load with a festive celebration! Thanks to Sandy’s dad for sending those gift certs all these years).

In 10 days, on Christmas, we fly out to Puerto Rico for 2 full weeks of disaster relief with All Hands. It’s going to be messy, dirty, and exhausting.

It feels funny always choosing these torturing trips for my vacation days, but I’ve racked up 3 Habitat for Humanity trips, 3 All Hands disaster relief trips, and about 10 work exchanges benefiting good causes. And although mucking out homes with 20-somethings is not glorious, it is satisfying.

Recently I asked my husband what a couple of his friends did for their last trip. They splurged on some nice hotels (lol autocorrect switched this to girls) and laid on the beach while eating at lots of restaurants.

I cannot imagine. It sounds luxurious, but busy beaver me would feel like I was twiddling my thumbs the whole time waiting for something to happen.

It’s good there’s so much to look forward to because the here and now is stressful.